tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.comments2015-05-07T10:37:52.271-04:00Navigating Through Silence: Grieving the loss of a pregnancyVanessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15270063045345937795noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-16435106806492971802015-05-07T10:37:52.271-04:002015-05-07T10:37:52.271-04:00I can say so little without being presumptuous, Ne...I can say so little without being presumptuous, Nessa, except that I try my best to piece together how you felt then, now, and will, so that I can always be free of judgment and available to console anyone else I know who goes through such an ordeal in -- as you somberly put it --an abyss of darkness and silence. I love you for feeling so deeply and acting so compassionately, and I only wish that your pain and eloquence may impress some empathy around those around us who are too caught up in contentious points of view to simply see a woman, her pregnancy, and her decisions, as her own. It is an inhuman thing to judge any family's decision in such travails by the mere outcome, discarding all the human elements wherein lie the pieces that would move us to empathy and compassion ourselves, like you and so many mothers have demonstrated. "Olive"s place of peace is not assured merely by you having prevented all suffering, but by Olive having had the guiding hand of such a strong and compassionate woman in enacting that choice, though he never could know it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-4782753626889009372015-05-07T01:18:26.921-04:002015-05-07T01:18:26.921-04:00Vanessa, I can't help but shake and shiver whe...Vanessa, I can't help but shake and shiver when I read this. I remembered when you told me back in 2013, how much the pain and the fear paralyzed me. I am grateful to God for blessing you with Shane and helping you and your husband travel that route again. You are stronger than you know, stay blessed!!MissTeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01633367964308008895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-54419096319326579752014-12-26T09:08:03.653-05:002014-12-26T09:08:03.653-05:00We don't know each other, but your blog was on...We don't know each other, but your blog was one of the first I found after we lost our first pregnancy in February. I am so very happy to read that you have S with you now and that this Christmas found you in a better place. Wishing you much light and strength.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-50566039618052177052014-04-30T16:29:32.490-04:002014-04-30T16:29:32.490-04:00I have been reading your blog, and was worried whe...I have been reading your blog, and was worried when there were no updates since February! I hope you are doing well. andthewindscreamsmaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03775759431772006480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-40506797756719316432014-03-09T23:40:40.537-04:002014-03-09T23:40:40.537-04:00It's impossible to be normally pregnant after ...It's impossible to be normally pregnant after a loss like that. I remember wanting to yell at everyone "BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN!" I didn't want a shower just in case. (((hugs)))Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14724675337980390322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-84318336991625313622014-02-18T13:49:52.193-05:002014-02-18T13:49:52.193-05:00AHHH! I've been so worried that you stopped po...AHHH! I've been so worried that you stopped posting and was wondering how you've been, so I'm SO FREAKING HAPPY to see this! All my T&P for a healthy and happy pregnancy and I hope to see updates!!!<br /><br />- lrachelle80Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14724675337980390322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-20166955626774786742013-09-12T11:58:28.538-04:002013-09-12T11:58:28.538-04:00This comment has been hidden from the blog.crazychickenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06500425049854099917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-40056806607346417382013-09-06T23:27:09.922-04:002013-09-06T23:27:09.922-04:00This comment has been hidden from the blog.Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14724675337980390322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-85717709887048112742013-09-03T23:06:23.929-04:002013-09-03T23:06:23.929-04:00This is exactly how I have felt since my miscarria...This is exactly how I have felt since my miscarriage. One foot in front of the other, one breath at a time. we are not okay, but it can't feel this bad forever, right?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-11811651785683890462013-08-27T22:46:40.065-04:002013-08-27T22:46:40.065-04:00I have read many blogs like yours lately.
My most...I have read many blogs like yours lately. <br />My most sincere sympathies to you as you grieve your loss, and as you continue to grieve for your lifetime <3Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07067114809410222371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-5651643902246672432013-08-23T20:10:35.411-04:002013-08-23T20:10:35.411-04:00Your post made me think about the heaviness I felt...Your post made me think about the heaviness I felt when I put the sympathy cards and tokens into a decorated shoes box after when our first pregnancy suddenly ended. Closing the lid, placing it on a shelf in the closet, it felt like I was sealing up a part of myself too. The grief changed me and grew me. Such hard earned badges of courage and maturity from that time. Kellynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-53201022947037864872013-08-19T15:23:03.260-04:002013-08-19T15:23:03.260-04:00I always think that when someone posts "I wou...I always think that when someone posts "I would never terminate, no matter what" that either they are not thinking it through or actually being selfish. Because I think the selfish choice with some diagnoses is to carry to term, and potentially cause the child pain. I think that choosing to interupt a pregnancy w a fatal diagnosis is an incredibly brave choice because you are putting the well being and comfort of your child first. You and your husb were incredibly brave, and wonderful parents, to your son, and you made an incredibly brave choice to protect him. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02306519794741396818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-35931093930712388922013-08-12T19:41:25.670-04:002013-08-12T19:41:25.670-04:00I can imagine how you must feel. At least if your...I can imagine how you must feel. At least if your dh's testing came back, you would have a plan of action. now youre still in the unknown and that must be hard. hope you get some answers soon.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02306519794741396818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-11815807537944721302013-08-11T22:33:23.914-04:002013-08-11T22:33:23.914-04:00I am so sorry for your pain and difficult journey....I am so sorry for your pain and difficult journey. Would you mind my asking what was your diagnosis that has led you to IVF? We are still awaiting the micro array and and full exome sequencing results, but since DH and I have normal karyotypes thus far we have been told that we are likely going to have to try on our own again. Vanessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15270063045345937795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-85598463878802358002013-08-11T22:30:58.718-04:002013-08-11T22:30:58.718-04:00Hi-I too have had 3 early miscarriages and one sec...Hi-I too have had 3 early miscarriages and one second trimester loss at 18.5 weeks with no living children. It sucks, that's all I can say.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-14478578621769848402013-08-09T13:51:19.552-04:002013-08-09T13:51:19.552-04:00This is very true... Hugs.This is very true... Hugs.BabyBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14121203583963562017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-31706773768537044392013-08-07T18:48:59.840-04:002013-08-07T18:48:59.840-04:00Vanessa, firstly, I send you hugs and love for the...Vanessa, firstly, I send you hugs and love for the loss of your son Olive. The name choice is beautiful by the way. My husband and I lost our first born daughter, Annabella, on July 16th, 2013 at 31 weeks gestation. Your words have been very helpful to read for I have been feeling very much of the same feelings. During this time I have never felt so alone in my life. Yes, we are surrounded by love and support but having such things as these blogs has certainly been helpful for those "alone" moments. I had never imagined this "life" ...a bereaved parent. A whole new world has been handed to us and right now it has all been about trying to find a new normal and finding joy along with the grief..for I think we will always be grieving for the rest of our lives..it just wont be like it is now, we will find joy again...and you put it nicely, we truly have to be hopeful. I guess I had never thought of it that way. But Im hopeful for being myself again, hopeful I return to work, hopeful that I will overall find that joy again..and I will be hopeful for you too : ) sterkview_dairyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13732537202914893495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-23136147697777993732013-08-07T12:53:32.141-04:002013-08-07T12:53:32.141-04:00Beautiful, Vanessa. Thinking of you... -shortms6...Beautiful, Vanessa. Thinking of you... -shortms6Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-52107270010901805792013-08-06T22:03:03.740-04:002013-08-06T22:03:03.740-04:00this is amazing and beautiful. I'm crying as I...this is amazing and beautiful. I'm crying as I read this <3 Wishing you peace and lots of love. You will find and get the happiness and love you deserve.Jaimehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16554657439435769141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-48171343120372888062013-08-06T14:50:24.782-04:002013-08-06T14:50:24.782-04:00Yes, I wrote it last night. Please feel free to s...Yes, I wrote it last night. Please feel free to share as you see fit. VVanessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15270063045345937795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-27761010039296020112013-08-06T12:46:10.438-04:002013-08-06T12:46:10.438-04:00You are good enough. This is so unfair, but it has...You are good enough. This is so unfair, but it has nothing to do with you deserving it or not - you didn't deserve it. No one does. You'd never tell someone else who lost a baby that they weren't good enough for happiness - so don't put that burden of thought on yourself either. XOXO Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14724675337980390322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-20447196716531999422013-08-06T12:44:33.877-04:002013-08-06T12:44:33.877-04:00Did you write this? It's beautiful. I'd li...Did you write this? It's beautiful. I'd like to share it on my loss blog if you are willing to let me. Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14724675337980390322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-1852088308819792592013-08-06T09:18:15.772-04:002013-08-06T09:18:15.772-04:00Just wanted you to know I'm reading and thinki...Just wanted you to know I'm reading and thinking of you. I felt the same way after my early loss. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-46279441253203722002013-08-05T13:51:22.744-04:002013-08-05T13:51:22.744-04:00just wanted to say I'm sending my love & I...just wanted to say I'm sending my love & I'm so so sorry for what you're going through. I do keep you in my prayers regularly, & sincerely do hope you will find your happiness. ::hugs::<br />-(jordanm24 from TB)crazychickenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06500425049854099917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7958470795120343721.post-31552868528518892382013-08-04T10:52:37.024-04:002013-08-04T10:52:37.024-04:00Anger is so normal. I was angry at the world too. ...Anger is so normal. I was angry at the world too. It does get better. It's hard to see now in the midst of the darkness and the anger, but sometime in the next couple weeks, something will make you laugh out loud. And then you'll cry because you feel guilty for laughing, and for feeling like you're moving on when you shouldn't be, and for having a second of normalcy when you feel like your life will never and should never be normal again. And then those little moments of normalcy get more and more frequent. You'll never stop missing him and you'll never get over it (OMG, if anyone ever says you should be over it, punch them), but you'll settle into a new normal eventually. Mine involved being insanely jealous of baby boys and pregnant women and avoiding them as much as possible, and hearing certain words that would trigger sobbing, and wondering how to live without everyone I encountered knowing that I lost my boy (checkout girl: why aren't you saying sorry? why are you acting like life is normal? MINE IS OVER!). Even those feelings eventually started to abate (cue: more guilt), though. It does happen. But it takes a LONG time. <br /><br />Tons and tons of love and hugs. If you want to talk, my email is in my profile.Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14724675337980390322noreply@blogger.com