Navigating Through Silence: Grieving the loss of a pregnancy

Grieving the loss of a fetus at 20 weeks gestation. Seeking answers to a multitude of questions including, "why us?", in what is currently an abyss of darkness and silence. As a molecular geneticist I feel let down by the area I have instilled so much faith, and as a woman who thought she would be a mother, I am grieving the loss of my innocence and naiveté about pregnancy. I love comments, even anonymous ones. Please feel free to post comments, even if it's simply a nod.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Here we go again...

Last Sunday I afternoon, day 24 in my cycle, I decided to take a pregnancy test because, well, I now have a 24 day cycle and I had positive ovulation tests from CD 10 -12. It was the first cycle I decided to use LH strips because I figured we would either try this cycle or next cycle.

After I got out of a quick shower I was greeted by....

Not simply a positive test, but a GLARINGLY positive test. Not even a squinter. A completely in your face, lady you have a fertilized egg implanted in your uterus (or an hcg secreting tumor somewhere).

I cried

and I cried

and I cried some more.

Because I am terrified.

1 comment:

LaraFebruary 18, 2014 at 1:49 PM
AHHH! I've been so worried that you stopped posting and was wondering how you've been, so I'm SO FREAKING HAPPY to see this! All my T&P for a healthy and happy pregnancy and I hope to see updates!!!

- lrachelle80
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