Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Mind fuck

The actual D&E was on 8/2, and after a week of bleeding, it seemed to start to slow down on Friday.  I was so happy with seeing barely nothing.  I thought I'd finally be able to put the physical piece behind me, along with the fears of losing my uterus.

Then, today, while making dinner, it returns!  And it's the most terrible, awful feeling in the entire world.  It's amazing how a single sensation can send shudders down your spine, cause you to break out into a sweat and drop your stomach to the floor.  It's similar to feeling warmth when you're pregnant, but when you're pregnant you also feel your heart literally stop and fall to the floor.

What a mind fuck.  I just want the physical portion to be over.  I need to put the physical aspects of this hell behind me so I can focus on packaging up the emotional baggage.

Just go away, damnit.  Go away and leave me and my uterus to heal in peace.

No comments:

Post a Comment